


fifteen ways to play a hero (alex millar)

by golden_lily



Category: Being Human, Being Human (UK)
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2013-03-30
Packaged: 2017-12-07 00:31:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/742018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/golden_lily/pseuds/golden_lily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wear your death like a scarf. Don't forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fifteen ways to play a hero (alex millar)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Fifteen Ways to Stay Alive](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/19382) by Daphne Gottlieb. 



  1. Laugh when he finds your body. Laugh so hard that you lose your breath all over again and it catches in the throat that’s been ripped out. Feel the pressure that’s been building inside of you. Ignore your corpse, all trussed up with nowhere to go. Let him see what they’ve made of you.
  2. Don’t let yourself relive it.
  3. Wear your death like a scarf. Take it off when you feel warm. Put it on when you’re shivering. Lace it around the vampire's neck. Rub the edges of it against the lips that tasted your blood. Don’t let him forget. Don’t forget.
  4. Open the door to the man who cut short your life. Open the door to the man who won’t ask for help. Open the door to death itself. Watch him burn.
  5. Eat your chocolate. Look on as it falls to the floor. Try again. And again. And again.
  6. Let them think you irresponsible. Let them think you the expert of fucking things up. Make them dance for you. Smile when they bicker. Smile when they hold your hands.
  7. Be a good sister. Keep your promise and let him go back. Take him on the bumper cars until your eyes sting with tears. Help him be better. Want him to be better. Throw him a party. Fight the monsters. Let them tie you to the wall. Set him free.
  8. Don’t invite the vampire in. Don’t let him touch your still, aching heart. Don’t let him trace the skin beneath your chin where the tubes were stuck. Don’t let him laugh at you. Don’t let him worship you.  Don’t believe him.
  9. Move on. Watch them get better without you. Miss tasting. Miss sex. Miss your family. Cry. Smile.
  10. Cross the numbers off of your list. Let these numbers define you. Wait for a door to open. Kiss Robert Downey Junior. Get your revenge. Find your mom. Go to Paris. Fall in love. Live your (after)life.
  11. Don't let him fool you. Act like you’re surprised when he relapses. Curse him. Practice telling him no. Absorb the word. Form your lips around it; _no_. See yourself in the dead girl in his arms.
  12. Wake up in your own grave. Look at the bones and realize that they’re you. Remember everything. Forget nothing. Finger the sash around your dress. Scream until your throat feels raw and bloody. Scream until your dead heart starts beating again. Think of Tom and his carvings. Think of Hal’s marigolds. Think of your family.
  13. Dig yourself out.
  14. Crush the Devil with your own two hands. Don’t fall into his trap. Save your friends. Save them again and again. Snarl at Azazel. Spit in his face. Say no. Avenge the dead girl. Avenge the dead werewolf. Avenge humanity.
  15. Become human. Eat whatever you can. Have sex. Dip your head back to feel the sun. Let Hal kiss the curve of your neck. Let Tom take you camping in the forest. Ignore the nightmares. Wake up every morning hungry. Turn your head from the wolf on your mantelpiece. 



**Author's Note:**

> The finale of Being Human just crushed me, and I had to find a way to say goodbye to one of my favorite characters in recent TV history. Inspired by three incredible pieces of fiction based off of Daphne Gottlieb's beautiful Fifteen Ways to Stay Alive: gyzym's Fifteen Ways to Self-Sabotage (Britta Perry), kirkwoodisinoregon's Fifteen Ways to Make Yourself a God (Bonnie Bennett), and glitterandgrit's Fifteen Ways to Turn into a Monster.


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